Monday, October 1, 2018

Movies With Absurd Movie Villains

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes (1978)
Dir- John De Bello

You must be a from another planet to have not heard of this classic baddie. The world is held at bay by killer tomatoes which have a terrible attitude. Along the way, we get every imaginable swipe and cliché from some of the most famous horror films. Not only a staple at every Bad Movie Festival but considered by many to be the worst movie ever made, if not the most comically fun. With a cast of thousands (tomatoes) and a song that is just as famous, Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes was infamous enough to get three sequels and a television cartoon series.

Blood Freak (1972)
Dir- Brad Grinter

Two evil sisters entice a poor Vietnam vet named Herschell to smoke marijuana, feed him a drugged turkey that turns him into a Turkey headed monster. He then has terrible dreams about people eating him, and he precedes to hunt down drug dealers and dispatches them in some very fake looking scenes. As you can tell this was made by a Christian church and their message was simple, stay true to the faith and avoid drugs. OK, what we end up with is a film which boasts wonderfully lousy acting, poor scripting, laughable effects, and an awful rock music soundtrack

The Car (1977) 
Dir- Elliot Silverstein

A silly and hokey film about a demonically controlled car which manages to run over most of the cast in this yawner. It's big, it's black, and still, it's silly enough to make you laugh at the sheer audacity. Would have made a good episode of Twilight Zone Episode, which by the way it was! James Brolin might want to leave this off his resume.

The Lift (1983)
Dir- Dick Mass

You know many people have an irrational fear of elevators, and after many horrific elevator scenes in such films as The Omen II and Speed, it was no surprise that an elevator would be the focus of a horror movie. Well in this movie what we get is an elevator with a penchant for killing its riders. It seems the elevator, which is computerized, was programmed by some mad scientist type who used living human cells in his set-up. Very tongue in check in its approach but I think I will go for the X-Files episode with a killer elevator.

Maximum Overdrive (1986) 
Dir- Stephen King

You know I felt cheated by this, I see a preview with Stephen King stating he was directing this film and he was going to scare the hell out of us. Kind of based on a short story from King’s Nightshift (Trucks). Maximum Overdrive has the world’s machine turning on the people of the world and trapping a group of restaurant patron’s. Silly, boring, filled with many plot gaps and very much typical of King’s mid/late 80’s crud.

Night of the Lepus (1972) 
Dir- William Claxton

This little gem features the talents of none other than Janet Leigh (Psycho) and DeForest Kelly (Bones from Star Trek). A small town is besieged by a horde of giant cottontail bunnies. What is even funnier is that the bunnies are not made to look evil or vicious. They are just big; that’s it! Of all the monster movies ever made I find cute bunnies almost laughable, well except for that vicious rabbit in Monty Python and The Holy Grail.

The Refrigerator (1991)
Dir- Nicholas Jacobs

Another one of those silly killer appliance movies, funny how I have never seen any of these. Well in this one we have a couple battling a possessed refrigerator. The premise is taken very seriously by its maker and what we get is a suspenseful and at times funny movie. Shot in lower Manhattan, I find this yet another in a long line reasons why I will not move to New York.

The Gingerdead Man (2005)
Dir- Charles Band

The ashes of a recently executed serial killer get mixed into a batch of gingerbread spice mix resulting in a giant man made of gingerbread coming out of the oven to seek vengeance. This silly horror comedy was directed by Charles Band and is surprisingly well received. It is followed by two sequels that prove once again that Charles Band is the master of absurd horror.

The Stuff (1985)
Dir- Larry Cohen

The discovery of a yogurt-like substance takes the country by storm as people are addicted to this new taste sensation. To counter this threat to competing dessert company interests an industrial saboteur is hired to find out the secret to the stuff. He then meets a young boy who discovers that the stuff may not be as harmless as they say it is. The Stuff has become a huge cult favorite for its silly premise, over the top special effects and its satire about commercialism in this country.

Attack of the Killer Donuts (2016)
Dir- Scott Wheeler

A batch of donuts is turned into murderous monsters after exposure to a chemical spill. The employees soon discover the danger after some are sold, and customers are being eaten by the mutant confectionaries. The silly premise seems to be a parody of Attack of the Killer Tomatoes which is also a parody film itself.

Sharktapus (2010)
Dir- Declan O'Brien

The US Navy has scientists cross as shark and octopus to make a creature they can use to fight drug smugglers. Yet the beast escapes and swims out to a nearby Mexican beach to search for prey. This SyFy produced movie would the first in a series of composite animal horror films that as crazy as they sound have become popular with some fans as the films can be found in Redbox and Streaming services.

Killer Klowns From Outer Space (1988)
Dir- Chiodo Brothers

A squad of evil aliens who look like circus clowns invade a small town and use their comical looking weapons to trap victims for use as food. A cult classic that has won over fans for its absurd premise and over the top script and special effects. The movie has become more popular over the years and gained new fans due to streaming services offering it for viewing.

Teeth (2007)
Dir- Mitchell Lichtenstein

Dawn (Jess Weixler) is a virtuous girl who has made a promise she would remain chaste until her wedding day, that is until she is raped by a boy who she thought was the one true love. Dawn's rapist soon learns most painfully that this young girl's "No" comes with a bite. "Teeth" is a black comedy about an adolescent girls emerging sexuality and the adaptation that allows her to fight off the unwanted sexual assaults she faces.

Killer Condom (1996)
Dir- Martin Walz

While investigating some bizarre attacks in a seedy hotel a detective and a gigolo are attacked by a condom that is looking to chomp some private parts. As he searches for this hungry prophylactic, he must also confront the feelings he has for the sex worker he hired. This Troma release follows the usual style of other Troma movies and does not take itself too seriously with its strange morality play. 

Death Bed: The Bed That Eats (1977)
Dir- George Barry

A demon wishes to seduce a woman and creates a bed for their act of lovemaking, however, she dies during their act of intercourse resulting in his tears bringing the bed to life with a desire to eat people. This psychotronic film is unlike any other horror movie and has gained a following for its bizarre premise.

Evil Bong (2006)
Dir- Charles Band

A group of stoners taking a hit from a malevolent living bong finds themselves trapped in a surreal world were the bong traps in a strip club with bizarre inhabitants. This Charles Band directed film features some cameos by Cheech and Chong, Bret Michaels and Bill Moseley. The movie has some sequels and a crossover with Band's Gingerdead Man.

Monsturd (2003)
Dir- Rick Popko and Dan West

A serial killer is mutated by chemicals in a sewer and turns into a creature made of human waste. This low budget movie plays up the poop humor and has a cult following. Strangely this movie was available at Blockbuster locations when it was released on video. 

The Mangler (1995)
Dir- Tobe Hooper

This movie based on a Stephen King short story found in the Night Shift collection involves a laundry press that develops a taste for blood after a worker cuts themselves on a lever. An investigation reveals some dark secrets involving the town elders and the secret of their success. Considered by many fans of King to be one of the worst movies based on a story with his name.

Jack Frost (1997)
Dir- Michael Cooney

Another movie with a serial killer turning into something unnatural after an accident exposes him to some chemical. This time around his body melts into the snow allowing him to take the form of an icy villain. The film has a cult following for the silly death scenes, cheap special effects and of course it is followed by a sequel because why not.

Day of the Triffids (1963)
Dir- Steve Sekely

After a meteor shower has blinded most of the world's population, a naval officer recovering from an operation finds the survivors being stalked by carnivorous plants that can move, communicate between themselves and can kill its victims for consumption. He finds a group of people who are trapped in a house with the plants closing off all escape routes and forcing its way into the house. The movie is considered a classic film in the sci-fi genre and is easily one of the better films in this list.

Rubber (2010)
Dir- Quentin Dupieux

A tire named Robert gains sentience somewhere in the California desert and learns it can roll as well as the develop the ability to destroy objects with psychokinesis. It then stalks a woman who drives by as the tire leaves a trail of dead bodies. The movie has surprisingly good reviews despite the insane premise of the film and has gained a following by fans who enjoy the oddness of the film. 

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