Thursday, November 22, 2018

Five Families to Avoid Having Dinner With

The Von Geisler Family

Frontier(s) (2007)

Von Geisler is the family patriarch and Nazi member who owns a family Inn and farm near the French border. His daughters seduce some young men who are fleeing a bank robbery and they are soon held captive along with a female friend who is sought as a possible spouse for his son Karl. When she is deemed unsuitable they learn of the families other dark secrets when they are introduced to the meek young girl Eva who looks after the rejected members of the family.

The Parker Family

We Are What We Are (2013)

A small traditional family that owns a large tract of land that has been passed down through the previous generations, the Parkers are respected by the local community who give them their privacy. Yet one of the most cherished family traditions is kept a tight secret and it is in the hands of the daughters Iris and Rose to decide if they will carry on the duties of preparing the special feast after the unexpected death of their mother.  

The Odets Family

Wrong Turn 2 (2007)

The Odets Family is a clan of inbred cannibal mutants who live in the remote mountains of West Virginia. The family ancestors worked in the paper mill until it was closed after years of dumping chemicals in the water supply. The local animal population was wiped out so the family turned to kidnap and murdering travelers to cut up for meals. The Odets suffer from severe birth defects but also possess a strong resistance to pain and can survive attacks that would kill most others. 

The Jupiter Clan

The Hills Have Eyes (1977)

The Jupiter Clan are a family made up of a father, his three sons and a daughter who prey on travelers who get stuck in the desert. The family of mutants was descended from miners who were caught in the proximity of nuclear bomb tests with the radiation scarring them and leaving them to turn to cannibalism to survive. 

The Sawyer Family 

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

The Sawyer family is a collection of cannibals who live in an old house in a remote Texas town, Drayton Sawyer operates a gas station and BBQ restaurant that serves as a cover to lure travelers who are kidnapped, tied up and left to Leatherface to cut up with his chainsaw. The family also includes the crazy twin brothers Nubbins, Choptop (TCM 2) and Grandpa who despite looking dead is very much alive and enjoys the taste of human blood.  

--Bonus Round--

Farmer Vincent Smith

Motel Hell (1980)

Farmer Vincent has built a reputation with his smoked meats and fritters. He is proud to tell people that he uses all natural ingredients and no preservatives, yet Farmer Vincent has some secrets and one does not want to wander into his motel unless they want to be a part of the menu. 

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